Sinclair Sexsmith sees individual clients and couples for sex and intimacy sessions in person, via Skype, or on the phone. Contact mrsexsmith at gmail.com for more information, and see Sinclair’s travel schedule to see if they are coming to your town soon.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM SEX & INTIMACY COACHING WITH SINCLAIR?
Each session is unique, and crafted according to the needs of the client using my elaborate toolbox of self-awareness, gender expression and identity, erotic embodiment, BDSM, power exchange, and more. Sessions could include talking, guidance, resource suggestions, hands-on bodywork, outings, or many other things.
I work especially well with queer folks of all identities and stripes and presentations, particular masculine of center, butch, stud, and trans men, and feminine presenting queers of all body types, who want to explore power, leather, BDSM, and the complicated exchange of erotics in the context of sacred intimacy.
I bring my full self to this work, and I invite you to bring your full self, too.
INTENTIONS
“When everyone does better, everyone does better.” —Jim Hightower
I’ve been traveling and teaching workshops for many years now, since I began teaching at Bent, the writing institute for queers in Seattle, in 2004, and I often have questions from students and friends that a two-hour large workshop cannot adequately address or answer. I began deepening my interest in working with individuals over a period of time after witnessing the need in queer, leather, BDSM, butch/femme, trans, and other marginalized communities for healing, embodiment, and intimacy.
With this work, I intend to contribute to the communities in which I run to help my people with hands-on healing for deep woundings caused by this culture’s misunderstandings, misinformation, and flat-out discrimination of our communities. In addition to the macro culture, within our little communities there is so much wounding and re-wounding that happens, and we often leave each other even more broken after intimate encounters, doubting our own identities, place, security, or self. We have so much community shame and trauma, so much internalized oppression, that manifests in us individually, and we need healing. We need help. We need assistance to move those inheritances through us, and not let them get stuck in our beings.
On a larger scale, the minoritzied communities, especially sexual minorities, have so much to teach the larger culture. There is such a huge gender imbalance on this planet, and genderqueer and trans folks are at the forefront of the movement to heal what has been long broken. Queers and leatherfolk have the best sex lives, and we have tons to teach about healing sexual shame and trauma.
But we have to do our own healing first. Sex and intimacy coaching is one possible path toward that healing.
PERSONAL GROWTH JUNKIE
I have always been into self-study, self-knowledge, self-exploration, and self-awareness. Not because I am oh so fascinating or so much more fascinating than thou, but because my only real lifelong relationship will be with myself, and I want to discover the things I don’t know that I know about myself, to discover the inner workings of my being, such that I can make the most conscious decisions about how to move through the world possible.
That is, more than anything else, what this work is based in: to discover deeply ingrained habits and patterns—particularly habits that manifest in intimate relationships—and work with them in experimental, gentle ways to make them more conscious and to let go of habits that are no longer serving you.
Sessions with Sinclair could explore:
- Power exchange: topping & bottoming
- Domination & submission (D/s)
- Stone sexualities
- Sensations from subtle to bold
- Impact play
- Training to be a better top or bottom
- Receiving pleasure
- Deeper intimacy and desire
- Self knowledge, development, and reflection
- Erotic energy
CREDENTIALS
Most recently, I’ve taken a year of training with four of my favorite mentors studying sacred intimacy in a post-modern queer lineage of Kashmir Shivism Tantric context. What is sacred intimacy? It is, simply put, the practice of intimacy in a sacred context, using an element of spirit and energy to hold the container in which we work.
I have been a student in the Body Electric School since 2000, and began assisting workshops in 2003, then coordinating workshops in 2007. I’m currently the national women’s coordinator and in training to be faculty. The Body Electric School is primarily a gay men’s school, with a small contingent of women, queers, genderqueers, and trans folk who have taken the workshops and applied it to our own communities. We explore Taoist erotic massage, erotic energy, breath, desire, and embodiment in a safe contained environment. We also offer workshops such as Power, Surrender, and Intimacy, which explores BDSM in a sacred energetic erotic embodiment context, and Pulse, which is the annual advanced women’s retreat, largely based on Tantric studies.
I studied at Bent, the writing institute for queers in Seattle, and was on the founding board for two years, and a substitute writing teacher for a year where I led creative explorers into deeper knowledge of themselves through writing poetry, memoir, erotica, and prose.
I have undergraduate degrees in both creative writing and women studies, which gave me the background in marginalized experiences and creative expression I’ve built upon to see clients in this work.
THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
… and it barely scratches the surface. There’s so much more I could write and explain about pursuing sex and intimacy coaching, about sacred intimacy, and about erotic embodiment, but each individual session is quite unique, and each experience depends on what each of us brings to the exchange at that specific time.
If you’re interested in meeting up with me for sessions in person, via Skype, or by phone, please contact mrsexsmith at gmail.com and we can start the conversation.