Oh hey there.     I’m Sinclair.


Seeking better sex? A good read? Want to heal your heart?

I have something for you.

And by “something,” I mean my ideas. They are the best solutions I have to the questions that have plagued me, as a kinky queer butch top trying to find my way in the world. Maybe your questions are different than mine, but I hope some of my best ideas are still useful to you.

So, hi. I was born and raised in the rainforest of southeast Alaska, and I’m currently living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, and started Sugarbutch Chronicles in 2006 when I was trying to get out of a lesbian “bed death” relationship. I used writing as a way to uncover the kind of gender I wanted to present, get into the relationships I was seeking, and have the sex life I craved. Since then, I’ve been writing, teaching, and guiding people individually to answering their own questions.

The official Mr. Sexsmith bio

Sinclair Sexsmith is an educator, coach, and writer specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They produce the award-winning personal online project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Sex, Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top at www.sugarbutch.net since 2006. With works published in various print anthologies and online, they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press. They prefer the pronouns they/them.

Mr. Sexsmith’s credentials
  • Gender Studies & Creative Writing degrees
  • Bent Teacher Training
  • Sacred Intimacy through a Tantric Lens
  • Community Word Project
  • Body Electric School
  • Teach Now Training

Full curriculum vitae


Sinclair is available for:
  • College workshops and lectures about queer theory, gender, sexuality, and self-actualization
  • Sexuality, leather, and BDSM educational classes and demonstrations
  • Writing classes, coaching, & editing
  • Spoken word performances on the subjects of queer sex, gender, and relationships
  • Individual and couples sessions via Skype, phone, or in person

I write things.     Especially dirty things.

Like Sugarbutch Chronicles

I write books, too


And sometimes my stories are in other people’s books

… and more. Here’s the complete list of books my work is in.

Aside from Sugarbutch, I write many other places online

I also write & perform poetry

Here are some videos of my work, and you can listen to my album For the Record online.


I visit colleges, community centers, toy stores, and conferences to have conversations

In other words, I’m a teacher.

This year, I’m focusing on teaching these topics …

wk-fuckingwithgender wk-queerleader wk-buildyourowngender wk-empowered-relationships

wk-feministdominant wk-identitieslabel wk-cockcon wk-writingdirty


Sinclair runs academic workshops and kink & BDSM workshops that are interactive. All workshops can be adapted for groups of 10 to 250 people and range from 1 hour quickies to 5 hour master classes. See what people have to say about them!

They have presented at community centers, sex toy stores, conferences, and colleges & universities throughout the US, including Columbia, Yale, Smith College, New York University, the IvyQ ivy league queer conference, International Ms. Leather, Babeland, Good Vibrations, and more.

Ready to book Sinclair? Get in touch with Ripley, Sinclair’s booking agent, at booking@sugarbutch.net

steering wheel

Sometimes, you need more than a workshop.

Gender & Sexuality Coaching

Sinclair Sexsmith sees individual clients and couples for sex and intimacy sessions and gender consults in person, via Skype, or on the phone. Contact coaching@mrsexsmith.com for more information, and see Sinclair’s travel schedule to see if they are coming to your town soon.

What is “sacred intimacy”?

More than anything else, sacred intimacy sessions focus on the practice of being deeply intimate with another person. The intimacy can take many forms, depending on your personal patterns, habits, and challenges. Sacred intimate sessions are sex and intimacy coaching sessions combined with embodied experiences that dive into our beings to change our old habits and create the new, intentional ways of living that we desire.

What is a “gender consultant”?

Have you ever wondered about how gender works? Do you wonder about how it’s effecting your business? Do you want your business to be more inclusive of genderqueer, gender non-conforming, and transgender people? Are you interested in learning some tools for gender liberation? Do you want to transition, but don’t know where to start? Do you want to be your gender more fully in your body? Do you want a safe space to explore gender with understanding and acceptance?

That’s what I’m here for. I can help.

Some questions, answered

These may not be your questions, but they are somebody’s.
What are yours?


I travel all over teaching and performing. (I can come see you, too!)

Here’s where I’ll be next

No shows booked at the moment.


Want to get in touch?

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)


Your Message

I’d love to hear from you.

Questions for Sinclair?

Use the Ask Me Anything form.


Ripley Irwin, booking@sugarbutch.net


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