“That’s why it took me so long to become interested in protocol, I think. I’m defining “protocol” here as a specific set of rules and routines agreed upon by a dominant and a submissive, usually with a particular trigger and outcome: “When [x] happens, you will [y].” I had read about protocol in Sinclair Sexsmith essays and elsewhere, but wasn’t sure it was for me. But when my current dominant partner started discussing it with me, I realized I felt very positively about it – with him, anyway!”
Erotic embodiment is “a radical, sexual expression and a radical way to engage with our bodies, with our lives, with sex, with intimacy, with spirit,” says Sexsmith, whose work as a sacred intimate is about “being in relationship,” which may involve two-way touch, deep explorations in intimacy, and other parameters that can be negotiated between practitioner and client.
“Really, the goal is a very intimate relationship that includes sexuality, it includes erotics, it can include BDSM,” says Sexsmith. “Desire, sometimes kink, sensations, power dynamics, all of those things — anything that could happen. Like emotional closeness. And it’s practicing those things…it can be totally transformative for people’s relationships because it’s a practice.”